The wedding is one of life's primeval and surprisingly unchanged rites of passage. Nearly all of the customs we observe today
are merely echoes of the past. Everything from the veil, rice, flowers, and old shoes, to the bridesmaids and processionals, at one
time, bore a very specific and vitally significant meaning. Today, although the original substance is often lost, we incorporate old
world customs into our weddings because they are traditional and ritualistic.
Old world marriage customs continue to thrive today,
in diluted, disguised and often upgraded forms. Customs we memorialize today were once "brand new" ideas. Although historical
accuracy is hard to achieve, the historical weight attached to old world wedding customs and traditions is immense. Feel free to use,
reinterpret or omit them in your own wedding.
Remember, as you plan for your wedding, to create new family traditions and customs
to be handed down to your children and their children. Just think, maybe someday, your "new custom" will be as unique and exciting
as these presented here.
Why Does the Bride Wear a Veil?
The bride's veil and bouquet are of greater antiquity than her white gown. Her veil, which was yellow
in ancient Greece and red in ancient Rome, usually shrouded her from head to foot, and has since the earliest of times, denoted the
subordination of a woman to man. The thicker the veil, the more traditional the implication of wearing it is.
According
to tradition, it is considered bad luck for the bride to be seen by the groom before the ceremony. As a matter of fact, in the
old days of marriage by purchase, the couple rarely saw each other at all, with courtship being of more recent historical emergence.
The lifting of the veil at the end of the ceremony symbolizes male dominance. If the bride takes the initiative in lifting it, thereby
presenting herself to him, she is showing more independence.
Veils came into vogue in the United States when Nelly Curtis wore
a veil at her wedding to George Washington's aid, Major Lawrence Lewis. Major Lewis saw his bride to be standing behind a filmy curtain
and commented to her how beautiful she appeared. She then decided to veil herself for their ceremony.
Why a Bride's Handkerchief?
Early
farmers thought a bride's wedding day tears were lucky and brought rains for their crops. Later, a crying bride meant that she'd never
shed another tear about her marriage. Today, we carry a handkerchief to dab away the tears of happiness and joy. How special
to keep your wedding hanky and pass it down from mother to daughter capturing all the love and emotion of such a special event from
one generation to another.
Why the Honeymoon?
In ancient times, many of the first marriages were by capture, not choice. When early man felt it was time
to take a bride, he would often carry off an unwilling woman to a secret place where her relatives wouldn't find them. While
the moon went through all its phases, (about 30 days) they hid from the searchers and drank a brew made from honey. Hence, we
get the word, honeymoon.
Why Do the Attendants Dress Alike?
Who hasn't noticed that the maids, ushers, and entire bridal party
dress very much like the bride and groom? It was once common for the bride, her groom and all their friends to walk together to the
church on the morning of the wedding. Afraid that someone, maybe a rejected suitor, would spot the happy couple and put a curse on
them, the groom's friends wore clothes almost identical to his, and the women costumed themselves like the bride. These disguises
tricked evil wishers into letting the real bride and groom live happily ever after. Of course, today we dress our attendants
alike for the beauty and pageantry of the event.
Why the Blue Satin Garter?
Why this "Something Blue?" In ancient Israel, brides wore a blue ribbon to signify "fidelity." The garter-throwing
itself derives from a bawdy ritual called "flinging the stocking." In Britain, the guests would playfully invade the bridal
chamber. The ushers grabbed the bride's stockings; the maids; the groom’s. They took turns sitting at the foot of the bed flinging
the stockings over the heads of the couple. Whoever's stocking landed on the bride's or the groom's nose would be the next to
wed.
Today, many brides will wear two garters. The one she wishes to keep as a memento of her wedding day, possibly to be displayed
on her groom’s rear view mirror, and another, to be retrieved and tossed by the groom to all the young unmarried men attending the
event. The "toss garter" is likely to be in the color of the wedding, and not as elaborate as the more decorative garters kept by
the bride.
Why a Matchmaker?
For centuries, the matchmaker enjoyed the honored, if occasionally ridiculed, position of ensuring
ethnic identity and compatibility. Groups that wanted this assurance regularly employed the services of a matchmaker, whose commission
was a certain percentage of the dowries. Today, the modern version of the matchmaker is found as easily as turning on your computer.
Computer programs can allegedly match individual backgrounds and traits so accurately that two people brought together for a date
can be assured of "common interests" at the very least. In any event, it is only the dating that can be arranged, not marriage.
So matchmaking of a sort has not disappeared; it has merely changed its appearance and emphasis, as is the case with any custom that
expresses enduring human needs.
Why a Trousseau?
The word trousseau came from the French word, trousse, which meant bundle. The trousseau originated as a bundle of
clothing and personal possessions the bride carried with her to her new home. This was later expanded upon into a generous dowry.
Today, the trousseau includes all of the new items for the household, as well as for the bride herself.
Why Does the Bride Wear
White?
Although white has been a symbol of joyous celebration since early Roman times, brides usually wore a coloured dress, quite
often their best dress. They would add ribbons or other decorations to make it special for the day. It wasn’t until the
late 1800’s that brides started wearing white for their weddings. The Victorians attached meanings to colours, and white stood
for purity.
Why Does the Bride Carry Flowers?
For centuries, flowers have stood for a variety of emotions and values. Roses mean
love; lilies mean virtue and so on. In ancient marriages, the brides carried herbs beneath their veils to symbolize fidelity.
Greek brides carried ivy as a symbol of never-ending love. Orange blossoms, (the world renowned wedding flower) were chosen by the
Spaniards to represent happiness and fulfillment, because the orange tree flowers and bears fruit at the same time. During even
earlier times of "primitive marriage," when the fear of demons was most prevalent, the brides carried stinking garlands of herbs and
spices for the purpose of frightening off evil spirits.
Today, brides carry flowers in the color scheme of their wedding, bringing
beauty and elegance as well as old world customs to their special day. Have you considered spelling out the name of your groom in
the flowers of your bouquets?
Why Something Blue?
Brides of ancient Israel wore blue ribbons on the border of their wedding cloths to denote, love, modesty and fidelity.
These are ideals still associated today with that color. Blue also denotes the purity of the Virgin Mary and is the most popular
of all colors. Also see, "Why the Blue Satin Garter."
Why a Wedding Cake?
Beginning in early Roman times, the cake has been
a special part of the wedding celebration. A thin loaf was broken over the bride's head at the close of the ceremony to symbolize
fertility. The wheat from which it was made, symbolized fertility and the guests eagerly picked up the crumbs as good luck charms.
During the Middle Ages, it became traditional for the couple to kiss over a small cluster of cakes. Later, a clever baker decided
to amass all these small cakes together, covering them with frosting. Thus, the modern tiered cake was born.
The
Tradition of the Bridal Shower?
Tradition says that the first bridal shower was given to a poor couple in Holland who was denied the
bridal dowry because of the groom's lowly miller status. The miller's friends showered the bride with gifts to help them set up housekeeping.
Why Carry the Bride Across the Threshold?
During the days of "Marriage by Capture," the bride was certainly not going to go peacefully
into the bridegroom's abode, thus, she was dragged or carried across the threshold. In even earlier times, it was believed that family
demons followed the woman and to keep her family demons from going into the groom's home, she was carried across the threshold upon
her entering for the first time. After that, the demons could not enter as she would come in and go out of the home.
Why
Old Shoes and Rice?
The throwing of rice on the couple has always been symbolic of wishing prosperity and good luck. In the Orient,
throwing rice means, "May you always have a full pantry." Wheat and other grains are sometimes thrown in addition to rice, thereby
also wishing prosperity and lack of want. Each shower bestows "Goodwill Traditions" of wealth upon the newlyweds. To this
day, rice remains a token of a life of "plenty."
Giving the Bride Away?
In times when women were granted few privileges and even
fewer personal rights, the bride was literally given away to the groom by the father, usually in exchange for monetary gain. Today,
it is seen as symbolic of the blessings and support of her union as a promise of continued trust and affection. Often when the question
is asked by a clergy during the ceremony, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man," the father's response is, "Her mother
and I."
Why An Engagement Ring?
In the early days of "Marriage by Purchase," the betrothal ring served a twofold purpose. This twofold purpose
included partial payment for the bride and was a symbol of the groom's honorable intentions. The diamond was found first in
Medieval Italy, and because of its hardness, was chosen to stand for enduring love.
The Engagement Ring, giving and receiving of, was
a Roman tradition where a man gave his beloved something valuable as a sign of his desire to marry her. If she accepted his gift,
it signified their pledge to be married and was a legally binding transaction, signifying that a girl was no longer available.
An
engagement ring containing your birthstone is said to bring you luck. There is no denying that diamonds are classic, beautiful, and
hard wearing, and have a wider significance. They were once believed to have protective properties: the light reflected from the bright
stones was thought to ward off evil spirits jealous of the couple's happiness. Their brightness is a symbol of purity, sincerity,
and fidelity.
Why A Wedding Ring?
This ring dates back to 17th century BC Egypt where wedding rings had a supernatural significance;
a never-ending band signified eternal love. The significance of wearing the ring on the third finger of the left hand is the early
belief that a vein from that finger leads directly to the heart.
The Irish Claddagh ring is used as a friendship ring, an engagement
ring, or a wedding ring. It was designed by a Galway jeweler in the 16th century. A heart to symbolize love surrounded by clasped
hands for friendship and a crown to symbolize eternity.
The Russian wedding ring is a combination of three linked rings, each of a
different color gold and believed to represent the Holy Trinity. Elizabethans wore a version of this called the Gimmal Ring.
The Victorian
wedding ring was in the shape of a pansy or the forget-me-not in turquoise and diamonds. The Victorians used combinations of stones
to send secret messages.
Other antique styles of rings include French love knots, clinging ivy, or Celtic knots and scrolls. There
is still a sense of magic and superstition bound up with the wedding ring - a symbol of unity, signifying that wherever you go alone;
you will come back to each other again.
Wedding Almonds?
Long associated with celebration, sugared almonds (Dragees, a French
word pronounced "draa-jey".) dazzled guests at the Renaissance wedding feast of Catherine de Médicis and the future King Henry II
of France. Now a traditional wedding favor, these esteemed confections are customarily offered in groupings of five to seven (always
an uneven number) to symbolize health, happiness, wealth, fertility and longevity.